The beginning chapters into my own personal "Momma Chronicles" was wrought with 14 years of dysfunctions, false starts, rocky roads, lonliness, & heartbreak- soothed with surprising reprieves that came in the most unexpected times, situations, and places.
I want my blog to be a reflection of finding peace in the journey, beauty in the surrendering of a life to a Creator's plan even when that plan doesn't feel good or make sense.
Monday, May 7, 2012
The Magical Baby Girl and The Brokenhearted Woman
is the story I tell my daughter every year about her birth story, the
essence of the story is true, my hubby and I waited nearly a decade for
the promise of parenthood to be fulfilled. 2 & 1/2 years before
Kissi was born we suffered the loss of 3 babies consecutively and the
heartache and loss nearly swept us away. It was only the loving hands of
our Lord that kept us intact and the lessons we learned during those
lean years still aid us in our walk today....
upon a time there was a magical baby who was waiting to be born, she
was up in heaven where all babies wait for their appointed moment and
every day she would ask God the same thing, "Is it my time yet, can I go
And everyday, God would reply, "No, not yet my precious one."
At the same time a woman would weep in her prayers and ask God, "When will I be a momma, is it my time yet?"
God would reply, "No, not yet my precious, there is still work that
needs to be done, hold on to my promise and be faithful my daughter."
time went by the woman would remind herself of God's promise, that When
He places promises in His children's hearts He is faithful to fulfill
were times, when the woman would look at other ladies who had become
mothers and stomp her feet, pull at her hair and angrily shout at God, "Look at them! That's NOT fair, their path to motherhood was short, Why do you make ME wait? WHEN WILL IT BE MY TIME? ?!"
calmly said in a firm voice, "My dear child, I am not telling you their
story, I am telling you your own. Stay on the path I have lead you on,
it's not your time, not yet."
the days turned into months and months into years, nearly a decade had
passed when the woman entered the thrown room and completely laid
herself down at the footstool of God, her words were barely audible as
God I have been faithful- I have waited with a patience that was grown
in my heart all these long years just as a flower waits for the sunshine
and the rain. I have loved and hoped when it looked like there would be
no chance of return. 3 times I have known life but for a moment, taken
crushing blows that would devastate others with no explanation as to
why it disappeared. I have believed there was a possibility when all
possibilities were improbable. I am not sure how you will fulfill this
promise you have placed in my heart to mother, however My Lord if you
should tarry much longer I am afraid that I will be in the winter of my
life and unable to enjoy your gifts promised to me & my husband. I
am still however convinced without a shadow of doubt, that you have
placed this desire in my heart to fulfill it, to grow love there, &
not to torture me. Please show me how to live in the promise of today
and not live for some unknown tomorrow. Oh God, if now is not the time,
please remove this desire from my heart for it has reached it's limit
and another loss of life would be more heartache than I can bare."
God lifted the woman up and dried her tears, as He looked at her He lovingly spoke these words to her,
daughter, Why do you hold on to burdens that were never meant for you
to bear? I bore them all for you, so you would not have to be burdened.
Take up my yoke for it is easy and my burden it is light. Believe in the
impossible, love with no hope of return, live in the promise of today,
not for some unknown tomorrow, wait with the patience of a flower who
longs for the rays of the sun and life giving drops of rain, hold on to
the promise of the words I have given you~ this all is a light task, if
you allow me to carry the load... My child you all ready possess the
hope of a mother, the love of a mother, the patience of a mother, and
the belief of a mother...You have labored through all these trials and
given birth to all these things when no proof was available... "
You ARE a mother. Right now. Period.
on my time for it is perfect, look expectantly unto me not at the
circumstances laid before you. What promises I have placed in your heart
I will be faithful to fulfill"
magical baby entered the throne room not too long after the woman left
& as the baby looked up at God with her big brown eyes He had so
lovingly hand crafted, He
laughed at her tenacity knowing full well what she would ask Him again
bitter-sweetly knowing she would need ever spare ounce of if for the
would tread in her life. Before one word was uttered, He looked her
squarely in the eye, and said, "My child it's your time. Hold on to my
This child of promise- the magical baby, was then knit into the woman's womb who believed so long and waited with a hope that bloomed brighter than the present circumstances.
The magical baby girl's powers began to show when she beat all odds having only a slim chance of being conceived. She came into
being with tiny seeds of hope blooming in her chest.
Even though she only had a 50% of making it past the first 12 weeks
gestation- she endured with the promise of life inside her, she held on with the patience of a flower.
When her heart rate went to "0" many times during her 19 hour
labor and had a mandarin orange size knot in her umbilical cord that was
wrapped 2 times around her neck this magical baby girl, warrior
princess who made it with the belief of possibilities coursing through her veins- did NOT give up, she held on to hope even at her life's darkest moment.
Though 3 babies were unable to
survive, she survived. And doing so broke the curse that shattered her parent's heart and joy rang
through the kingdom of Phillipsdom when this sweet baby girl was born on
APRIL 24, 2008 @ 12:35am.
This tiny baby girl, so beautiful and so radiant, had power inside of her, the curse of the dark one was no more as she mended
the heartbroken couple with just one gaze from her big brown eyes and
in that instant turned two people from a couple into a family...
Happy Birthday my magical baby girl!! I can't wait to see the unfolding of all the awesome
plans God has in store for you, the many dark places you will make
lighter, the dragons you will slay with the mighty sword of truth, the
broken hearts you will mend, & the broken gates you will fix with your
healing powers from the Balm of Gilead and the living well that never runs dry!!